Silent Trigger

This week we decided to critique Silent Trigger. If you have never seen this movie, that's not exactly a bad thing. We watched this no plot, piece of shit so you don't have to. This is not a thrill ride, it is not action packed, its barely a movie. But like all piles we watch, I have managed to pull out some highlights out this cinematic bowel movement.

Cast is a follows:

Dolph Lundgren: Waxman (Although his name in the credits is listed simply as "Sniper") I know the producers creativity astounded me as well.
Gina Bellman: Clegg (Name in credits-"Spotter")
Conrad Dunn: Klien (hellbent on raping spotter)
Christopher Heyerdahl: O'hara (hellbent on confusing the viewers more so. He serves no purpose. Or does he?

Highlights:


I would like to dive right into this masterpiece with the very first scene. Waxman Sniper (aka Dolph) is a highly trained green beree/ marine/ navy seal/ delta force sniper (didn't see that coming). And yes, he is the best. He and his spotter are working for a top secret government agency known simply as "The Agency". His mission is to assassinate a female. I say female because her character is never explained. Is she a president, congressman, or famous rapper? The director wants to keep us all guessing. Waxman is set and ready to shoot but wait, (another twist) he won't. She is using this baby as a human shield. Mission compromised. The agency instantly sends a helicopter to kill Dolph. Too bad they weren't holding babies. Eight men met their maker on this day. Via Dolph's unnecessary super gun.

The movie then skips without explanation into a dark, unfinished sky scraper.

The next highlight involves Klein. I mentioned before that he is hellbent on raping the shit out of Clegg. I was not exaggerating. This man tries everything. It looked like the R rated version of the wet bandits trying to get at Kevin during home alone. He just can't seem to get the job done. His first attempt is thwarted by her firearm. (She's a spotter, of course she's packin). He then puts on a bullet proof vest to block her shots while continuing the job. When he finally outsmarts Clegg by hiding in the bathroom, his plan works. He stops her bullet with his vest and continues to give her the ass kicking of a lifetime. Now believe it or not, he's decent enough to use a condom. Appearently this cocaine blowing, gun toating, rapist would not be a fit parent. Just as he is about to force her to buy a ticket to pound town, he is dooped by Dolph's hi jinks. He was then cuffed to a toilet, managed to escape and later killed by his rookie partner O'hara.

The final highlight involves O'hara. Usually by the beginning of action movies the villain is seen in some way. (ex. Jack Palance in Tango and Cash: You know a man who has a mouse maze and hall of mirrors in his office is the villain, it's pretty clear.) O'hara looks to be straight laced and by the book. Until Waxman refuses to kill again. O'Hara's assassins are sent out for a second time to take Dolph out. Dolph and Clegg take out his minions. They then take out O'hara with a bomb that was strategically (and highly cliche) placed earlier on the elevator brakes. (By the way, I did not bring up Dolph's last mission because its completely irrelevant. You don't know how or why he gets hired again, who he is supposed to kill, or how important this person he is supposed to kill really is. Its complete bullshit.)


In retrospect, I hated everything about this movie. It crapped on all of us. If you do for some reason decide to watch, please let us know what you think. If i missed anything feel free to comment.